In an effort to refrain from rambling off mindlessly to my dear, dear friends online right now (Naz I refer to you), I’ve decided to write about my frustrations here. So here it goes, enjoy and don’t be surprised if the following entry makes no sense at all.
I hate that a care so much about pretty much anything and everything. Some will say it’s my best quality and they absolutely love that I have genuine care about people and practically e v e r y t h i n g I come across. But I can argue that it’s my biggest flaw.
I guess that’s true for all of us though, so nothing very enlightening there.
However, I will say this: WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH? Why is it that in almost every aspect of my life I actually give a sh*t about the outcome? I understand that human beings are naturally concerned about stuff that is important to them, but for me … absolutely EVERYTHING is important. And because of this ridiculous and damaging mindset that I have, I’m constantly biting off more than I can chew. When is “enough” really ENOUGH?
Sometimes I catch myself wanting to transform into this really heartless and cruel being, but I can never find it in me to be a b*tch.
Take work for example. I cop A LOT of crap from customers about their “issues” with LG. And being in customer service, I’m suppose to provide the best possible solution to a customers dilemma. And goodness, being the person that I am, I really do genuinely try MY BEST to give the customer what they’re asking for. In short, I take on the customer’s problem as if it were my OWN problem and do absolutely everything in my power to get the best possible course of action for the customer. BUT for heaven’s sake, when all I get in return for my efforts is ABUSE and DISCONTENTMENT, I can’t help but think: screw you asshole, I’m trying to help YOU and this is the thanks I get. Now, I am aware that this is typical of any call centre, and I probably have it easy compared to a whole lot of other consultants out there, but my frustrations go beyond the workplace boundaries and extend to even my closest friends and family.
There comes a point in every girls life when ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! And I’ve suddenly realised that I’ve come to this point in my life on more than one occassion, and guess what … as much as I say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH … I still give a sh*t. I say “I’m over it … I don’t care anymore … etc etc” and yet I find myself STILL caring. I find myself still dwelling on the “issue” and replaying the scene/s over and over again in my head. What if I had done this? What if I do this now? What if I say this? What if I say that? IT’S ABSOLUTE TORTURE!! And do I end up actually doing something about “it”? Sometimes I do, but many times I don’t. And maybe that’s the problem. Perhaps I have found the reason for my unhappiness and discontentment – lack of action. Then again, in MANY cases, I find that doing something will actually be completely useless and a complete waste of time because the “act of doing something about it” reaps no reward whatsoever.
So then WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH??? WHAT’S THE POINT?!?
Some will say “because that’s just the type of person you are … you care A LOT”. But that’s exactly my point – when should a girl say “right, that’s enough, I cannot let you continue to walk all over me, I’ve had enough”? Damnit, am I that much of a pushover? Why do I care about things/people that obviously aren’t worth caring about?? How does a girl simply stop being so compassionate and just not give a crap anymore? WHY IS IT NOT IN MY NATURE TO BE LIKE THAT?
Ok that is enough rambling on for tonight.
Good Lord this has taken so much of my time, which I could have used to do this screwed up, pointless and boring essay for Uni. And behold – Uni – another thing that I seem to care SO much but is obviously not worth the stress and worry!
