Is it wrong to develop a crush on someone if you’re already in a stable and long-term relationship? One may argue the irony in that question: how can a relationship be stable if one party is developing “a thing” for someone else? I’ve been told that developing a crush on someone else is the first sign that your relationship is “not working”. Which begs the question – how is that possible? Whatever happened to the notion that “crushes” are harmless and a normal part of life?
I’m sure we can all remember our primary/high school days and the embarrassing crushes we once had. Man those were that days. I remember in year 8 I had it bad for a guy who was a year above me and in an effort to be in the same vicinity as him I would linger around the corridors just to catch a glimpse of him. (Read: stalker).
I remember being so excited to go to school because I’d see him. And I absolutely loved my Advanced Mathematics class because I could spend an entire period looking out the window and staring into the opposite classroom because HE was in there. (Probably explains why I never understood TRIGONOMETRY).
Oh but I digress.
The other day I was having a discussion with a colleague about POSSIBLY having a crush on someone although I was in a relationship, and she straight away bit my head off. Apparently I am not allowed to have crushes on the grounds that I am in a perfectly good and healthy relationship. Now do tell me if this is correct?
I have always been a firm believer that crushes are innocent, and that the only time one should start worrying is when this innocent crush starts to adversely affect the relationship you are currently in. Am I being naïve in thinking like that? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I find that it is a ridiculous mindset to have that one is NOT ALLOWED to have crushes on other people because one is in a relationship. Screw that, but crushes are completely normal, and I have them all the time.
And some may ask – what does my significant other think about this? Ha, well it’s funny you should ask because he has no idea. Which apparently makes me out to be the “bad guy” because I’m not being honest.
Is this right?
Yes?
Maybe?
No?
What if I were to tell you that given the slightest hint of me even considering that another human being is attractive, said boyfriend blows a fuse and gets all over protective on me and starts asking 21 questions? What would you say then?
“Ohhh but that’s completely normal … that’s understandable … he’s jealous … anyone would feel like that … it’s completely human”
And this is my point exactly — having a crush is exactly the same concept. There is no harm in having a crush on someone if you’re in a relationship. It is absolutely normal. And it is part of life.
Thoughts anyone?
